Has your relationship gotten sour? You’ve probably been miscommunicating with your partner. Read on to find out the best ways to effectively communicate with your partner, and never have to cause a heartbreak again.
We all carry pieces of baggage on a daily basis — I mean, heavy, emotional ones. If you allow your partner to carry more than they can, it’s not really helping.
You’ll need to aid them in unloading their burdens. And you can do that by listening actively.
So, you just met with your partner from work. You stay on your phone while you eat out together.
And then your partner starts talking to you. What do you do?
Do you just keep staring and scrolling mindlessly on your phone?
Dude, that’s rude.
When listening to your partner, it’s essential to do so actively. What does that mean exactly?
Well, you have to think with your partner, empathize with them, and nod when you need to. A single tap on the back also helps. And remember, keep your eye on your partner, not on your phone.
Active listening doesn’t mean talking back, though. It’s about focusing on what they’re talking about and actually trying to feel what they’ve been feeling all along.
You also need to be listened to. But that might not happen if you have not been making that a thing.
You see, it’s okay to be the ‘listener’ in your relationship, but you do have problems, too. And if you do not wish to be burnt out, you also need to communicate your need to be heard. Even only sometimes.
Note that it’s impossible for a relationship to survive if the giving only goes toward one direction.
I mean, if you’re the only one who’s always listening while your partner is always the one who’s talking — your relationship could become sour. Worse, it can become toxic.
So how do you say that you also wish to be listened to? Simple. Say, “I have something I’m burdened about.” Or, “I feel a little disturbed about something.”
These statements open up the way for your partner to start asking what’s wrong.
And when they do ask, it’s time for you to unburden yourself.
Once it’s your turn to express your feelings, burdens, or frustrations, kindly do them with respect.
You see, disrespectful relationships barely survive.
No matter how angry or irritated you are, your partner isn’t completely at fault — usually. Yep, without you realizing it at first, you may even have contributed to the awful situation.
So, whenever you express your feelings, don’t shout them out loud. Say them softly. Talk it out to your partner as if they’re on your side. Don’t treat them as your enemy.
When you become more respectful with your partner, they will also begin to treat you more respectfully. Your relationship will grow more mature.
Eventually, you’ll be able to cherish each other more. You’ll understand each other’s weaknesses. And you’ll learn to forgive more easily.
Just as respect begets respect, so does trust beget trust.
You see, a lasting relationship is built on having confidence with each other. Destroy the trust even once, and it’ll be very hard to rebuild trust again.
So, how do you apply this principle of trusting your partner in terms of communication?
Simple. Don’t imply doubt in the way you ask questions.
Instead, be supportive. Ask “what,” “how,” and “why” questions without being judgmental.
Say to your partner, “How are you feeling right now?” “Why do you think that happened?” “What do you plan about it?”
Resort to more of these kinds of questions and ask them in a gentle way.
Avoid saying things like, “When are you ever going to stop this habit of yours?” Or, “Don’t you realize it’s the same mistake all over again?”
These statements hurt, you know. They imply doubt, and when you doubt your partner, they’ll begin to doubt themselves even more.
So have confidence in them. If they’ve made mistakes before, be the bigger person and forgive them. Give them chances.
Of course, you’ll also have to learn what ‘too much’ is. And that’s for another story.
For now — especially if you’re a new couple — just build trust. And express that in the way you talk.
Proper communication in relationships is the foundation for which they last. After all, how else will couples be able to connect with each other?
If you’ve been having a hard time fixing your current relationship, you may need to rethink the way you’ve been talking to your partner.
Take note of the above tips on how to communicate in a relationship, apply them, and you’ll undoubtedly find peace and lasting love at the end of the altar together.
Still actually single (or you know someone who’s still single, or you’ve recently become single) and then you’re feeling alone during this season of love? Find out how you (or they) may cheer up and survive this Valentine’s Day atmosphere all around. Click here to read.